Ahead of the Curve


This past summer I read or reread three of George Orwell’s novel:  DOWN AND OUT IN PARIS AND LONDON, 1984, and ANIMAL FARM.  The events of 2016 reminded me disturbingly of some sort of dystopia.

Thanks to Kellyanne Conway’s now -legendary “alternative facts” quote, sales of 1984 have picked up so much that it’s Amazon’s #1 bestseller:


It’s wonderful being ahead of the curve.





I had this weird dream last night.  I dreamt I was walking into some sort of living room.  I think it may have been the one at my Grandma Harms’ house.  My younger brother was asleep on the couch.  The room’s only light came from a TV.  It was playing a Community Calendar show the local PBS station broadcast every night before signing off while I was growing up.  It was talking about a Norman Lear play about life after a nuclear holocaust.  (I don’t think the man responsible for ALL IN THE FAMILY actually wrote a play about life after a nuclear holocaust.  Remember, this was a dream.)

That dream reminded me of one of my greatest fears about life during Trumptime: that he will somehow launch a nuclear attack, which will then lead to a nuclear holocaust.  And as a result I will die, or life will become so damned wretched that I will want to die.

I’m just so f—ing anxious.


Tale of a Chair


Earlier today I posted this photo of my living room recliner on my Facebook page.  Some of you–I hope, anyway–are probably wondering why I posted this photo, especially since nobody was sitting in it.  So, I will fill you in.

A few days ago, I was sitting down in this chair, and pressed the button to make it recline.  But it didn’t.  I wondered what the problem was.  Was it with the motor, or was it with the electric doohickey  that connected the cord leading from the chair to the cord leading to the electrical outlet?

This morning, my Mom and I flipped this chair over to see if we could find its model number.  While looking for it, I found a cord that wasn’t attached to anything.  Hmmm, I thought.  I wonder if this cord attaches to another cord. 

I searched around, and I found another cord, with prongs on it.  Looking at the two cords, I realized that they must fit together, so I plugged them.  Once the chair was right-side-up, I sat in it and pressed the button to make it recline.  This time the chair started to recline.

I felt like Rebecca on CHEERS when she yelled, “I AM TOO STUPID TO LIVE!”


Speaking about chairs and classic sitcoms, this story reminded me of a classic moment from the DICK VAN DYKE SHOW episode “The Redcoats Are Coming.”  Instead of describing it, I’ll let the episode’s two guest stars, Chad and Jeremy, do the honors–or as they write it in England, “the honours.”


In this case, I must respectfully disagree.  Donald Trump does have a center.  Unfortunately, he is his own center.  He is self-centered.  He’s like the Sun.  And the rest of us are the planets rotating around it, being dwarfed by the way a semi dwarfs a Hot Wheels car. And Trump thinks we are all just itty-bitty planets compared to him.

Speaking of Trump and “Citizen Kane,” I’m reminded of a interview he had with David Feherty on the Golf Channel several months earlier.  Trump did say “Kane” was his favorite movie.  But I think the only thing he learned from it came from this dialogue between Kane and his first wife:

Emily Monroe Norton Kane: Really Charles, people will think-…

Charles Foster Kane: -what I tell them to think.